Tuesday, August 31, 2010

This post is for the members of the "WWKD" and anyone who is just plain tired of hearing their single friends brag about their wonderful adventures in dating. I know some of you are not familiar with with the "WWKD" so I will clue you in. It is a very elite society. Members go through a ridiculous hazing process. I mean rigorous physical and mental preparation to qualify. Plus your name has to start with the letter "K" Unless you pass the 500 page questionnaire  or buy me dinner. We almost got everyone to get matching tattoos but eventually we decided on bracelets. To save money we just got the "WWJD" ones and made the "J" into a "K". We're in a recession  in case you didn't notice. But I am going off topic. So here is the deal. The married women in our group have some complaints. So they have come to me, the president of the "WWKD". For the record I became the designated leader by majority vote. Actually I just nominated myself. It's only  fair since all of the other members have better hair & better boobs than I do. Plus no one wanted the job. Now back to the problem. Evidently the single gals think that we need to hear every stinking detail of their dates.  For some reason they are under the impression that since we have been dragging the old ball & chain around in the deep end of the pool, I mean married, that we are unhappy. So I guess I am going to have to set the record straight. Here is some insight, straight from my own boring, I mean wonderfully, fulfilling, married life:

YOU SAY: My newest beau is 10 years younger than me, has washboard abs, drives a Porsche and looks just like David Beckham .

I  SAY:   According to the Carnies they sit at the dunk tank at the local fair, my husband  looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin on a BINGE. He also drives a 1996 Chevy pickup truck  & mows the lawn with his shirt OFF.

YOU SAY: He cooked me the most fabulous dinner, from scratch.

I SAY:  He cooked boil-n-a bag rice SANS the bag. He also put the TV dinners in the oven and left the plastic wrap ON.

YOU SAY: He brought me flowers and took me to that expensive dessert bar.

I SAY:   He stopped by Subway and brought me home not 1, but 3 cookies. He also got us a great deal on our insurance by switching to Geico.

YOU SAY: We had a romantic, passionate. intimate night on the beach.

I SAY:  While my husband snored, I ate Triscuits in our bed and watched True Blood  Sunday night.  I'm pretty sure there are still some crumbs left under the covers. So all I have to do is hit the button on my  Homedic Sound Machine and let the waves of passion begin.

Hopefully it is now obvious to you . The married gals of the "WWKD" really don't need  or want to hear  stories about your wild weekends. We don't live vicariously through you. We don't have to. Anyway even if we WANTED to. We just do not have the time.  We are too busy trying to explain to our husbands the proper way to cook boil-n-a bag rice.

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Thursday, August 26, 2010

I blame it all on Natalee. I stopped by her blog and she had found this website where you can create your own church signs. If I have offended any of my 10 regular readers ( mostly who are my family) I apologize. However, in my defense, I want to remind you that God  did BLESS me with a sense of humor. You know my sign really does just say out loud what people are thinking. Then again, I did create a few more just for fun. Better call  Father John and reserve the confessional, this might take awhile.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

It's that time of the week and JAMIE wants to know:
How do you wish to spend some time?
The first answer  that popped into my mind was, well.....
Dressed up in a sexy outfit, alone in a room with  "Eric" from True Blood.
However since this is real life and not my fantasy world I guess I would be happy to sink my
teeth into  Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse Book Series. Also on my list:

  •  I used to have an MP3 player. I would plug it into my car's tape deck and jam to my fave tunes. Then there was a stop sign. My beloved MP3 player landed directly in my coffee cup. The 'Mom Taxi" has been dull for some time now. Fortunately I just won a new Creative Zen player from Napster. Can't wait to download some songs and get back to the beat.

  • Girl talk. The kids are back in school. This means that I get to chat with my gal pals without any interuptions. This morning my friend Kathy had me giggling like a teenager. Wonderful!

  • Prepping for my upcoming garage sale. I like things done in a certain way. Once again, without being interupted.

  • Blogging, Twitter, Facebook

  • Journaling, Meditating & Dreaming. I've been a summer slacker. Definitely ready to spend some quality time with  ME:)

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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Start playing It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year ! That's right. Why should this song just be reserved for the Holiday season? Let's face it. Most parents are secretly rejoicing . Not me. I am proudly proclaiming that "SCHOOL IS STARTING ON MONDAY"  Guess what? I will get to enjoy my coffee on the back porch without constantly being interupted. I will not have to fight for computer time. I will not have to hear "What's for dinner?" 60x in an 8 hour time frame. There will be no knocks on the bathroom door everytime I am in the shower. No questions while I am on the phone. I could meet friends for lunch. Get my hair done. Wear makeup. Learn how to vlog. Make a video for You Tube and become an overnight sensation.  The possibilities are endless. The backpacks are stuffed and by the door. The required forms have been filled out. Lunches have been planned. Let the school bell ring and this Mom shall sing.
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Monday, August 16, 2010

Tasha & "Bubbles"

Dear Little Sissy AKA Baby Brat,
Well it's that time of year again. It seems like only yesterday I was riding my bike around the neighborhood announcing your arrival to the world. We're baking a birthday cake for you today. Also  "Bubbles" and I will continue your fave birthday tradition be giving each other pedicures. We are going with a ladybug theme. She looks just like you. Sometimes I call her by your name. Mom is wearing purple to work today in your honor. I picked up two VC Andrews books & and read them just for you. The family and I spent a lot of time sharing stories about you being such a "Ham" this week. Then again, we talk about you all of the time. You may have left this world, but never our hearts. It has been a very difficult time for me, Sissy. Not a day goes by that I do not think about you or what coulda, woulda, shoulda been. I stayed up far too late listening to songs that made me cry last night. However you are/were the best sister a gal could have and I am so grateful. Thanks for coming to see me in my dreams this week, 3 times! It was so wonderful to see your beautiful face. To talk with you, if only for awhile. What an unexpected blessing! Speaking of unexpexted blessings,did you know I am going to be a Grandma? Isn't that something? You are going to be a Great Aunt. I just wish you were here on this earth as opposed to the spiritual plane. Ugh! So many questions, so little answers!
As always, I hope this is your best birthday ever. Time nor distance can never seperate my love for you.  Give Daddy a hug for me!

All my love,
Big Sissy

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