Thursday, February 11, 2010


My Daddy: Allen
1941-2008

It has been 2 years today since I last felt your arms around me. However,you are still ever so present in my thoughts. You are the greatest man I have ever known & I am going to share with my bloggy friends, what I wrote in celebration of your life, 2 years ago. Not a day goes by daddy.. I miss you..I love you..hope I am still making you proud. You are the reason I wish to Live in a "House By The Side Of The Road" (by Sam Walter Foss) and be a friend to man
Forever your little girl,
XOXO "Big sissy"

Today is a beautiful, joyous day. It is so because I get to talk about my father, Allen and the extremely abnormal family I grew up in. Now I know what you are thinking. That I am crazy. Or quite possibly over or under medicated. However please hear me out & I think you will understand.

I grew up watching the Brady Bunch & reruns of Father Knows Best , Leave It To Beaver & My 3 Sons .I loved these shows. In fact ,I thought they represented real life. What I didn’t realize was that this was far from the truth. My family wasn’t like other families.
My father wasn’t like other fathers.

When other men needed a son first, to feel like a real man, my father thought it would be great to blessed with a daughter. My brother & sister were the bonus babies

When other men viewed marriage as nothing but a piece of paper, my father loved & respected my mother & stayed committed to her for 44 years.

When other men were content to work when they felt like it. Or not work at all, my father got up every day to make sure we were provided for.

While other men were out drinking & carousing, my father was having dinner with his family & playing a game of monopoly, almost every night.

While other men took out their anger on their wives & their children, my fathers wrapped his arms around us & held us tight.

When other fathers walked away, my father helped us with homework & tucked us in at night.

While other men turned their backs on others because of their size, color or differences, my father was a friend to all that he met.

While other men said I am powerful I need no one, my father said “As for me & my house we shall serve the Lord.”


In a world where sadly, dysfunctional is now standard. & what should be is not, I had the fantasy. I grew up in the most wonderful, beautiful, fantastic, abnormal family you could ever meet. I had a dad that loved , honored & respected his family. Who also knew the importance of friendship. He loved his best friends Richard and Ralph. Our families hung out every weekend. Having pizza, swimming in the pool & doing things every family should do. Dad loved his brother Bill & his wife Pat, he liked to spend time with them & vacation with them. Last year they went on a cruise. He said it was one of the best times he & my mom had in his life. He loved his nephews, especially their sense of humor, which he was certain they inherited from him.. Family was everything to my dad. He loved being called POPPA. He loved the grandkids & was close to all of them. He loved talking sports, religion & politics with Bo-Bo picking up a guitar with Easy-E, A’s boundless energy, MJ’s creativity, Bubbles’s homemade cards & hugs & DD's ability to know when to wow the crowd or just be there for one, much like himself. He loved working in the garage & weekly home depot trips with his son-in-law Gene. And having great conversations with my sister-in-law Gladys. If he could work her into making him some pumpkin bread or coconut cake, then life was truly sweet. He loved his neighbors, his coworkers & his fellow man. He was a Redskin Fan in a field of Buccaneers, Cowboys, Dolphins, Packers & Steelers, who loved game & more importantly loved to talk Smack. He was a moderate who raised a conservative, bleeding heart liberal, & one who changed her mind depending on the tides, ties & the weather. He had a faith that could move mountains, a witty& wacky sense of humor & a way of driving a certain waitresses crazy every Friday morning(along with the breakfast club) He thought it was perfectly OK to use a chainsaw & lawnmower at 7:30 in the morning on a weekend ( for the record I think there should be a law against that), took the meaning of “one man’s trash is another mans treasure” to a whole new level, & if there wasn’t already a “Stairway to Heaven” I am positive he could have built one. There wasn’t a picture of Dolly Parton he didn’t like, a Hog he didn’t admire ( & I don’t mean the bacon), or a bluegrass channel he couldn’t find on the radio to torture his teenage daughter with on the long drives home when we lived in the country. He was known as Allen, Elwood, , Droopy Drawers, The LawnMan & Mr. Neatly. Yet To us he was just Dad. He called us Buzz Jr & Big Sissy & of course mom, his beloved Baby Duck. It was her hand he held until it was time to let go & then he took the hand of our beautiful sister, Tooter who led him into the light.

He was my Hercules, Hee Haw, Homer Simpson & my Hero. He was my Father & my Friend. Because of him I know, feel, & try to live my life with unconditional love.

Kahlil Gibran said
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.


The bible says-Psalm 30:5
"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”

Though my heart aches because I miss him already- Today is a beautiful, joyous, day. For to know Allen is to have loved him. And as Daddy said to me on my wedding day:
My cup runneth over, & I am blessed.




Wednesday, February 3, 2010


This week Jamie asks: What story do you wish to live or let go of?

Grief has affected my life in so many ways.
I am not the woman that I used to be.
Some people may fear grief, not understand it or maybe just don't care.
I am tired of pretending that this is not a part of me.
To stay silent so others can feel comfortable. Why should I have to
jump over THEIR hurdles when I have MY own obstacle course to go through?
Why stay in the "shallows" because others can't see the big, deep, blue sea?
MY life is a journey. There is joy and sorrow. Grief and gratitude.
Laughter and tears. Sunshine and rain.
Whatever the day may bring, I wish to embrace it , be in it and not to give
"two, tinkle, tinkle wolfs, wolfs"
worrying about what other people think.


What story do you wish to live or let go of?



Friday, January 29, 2010


The Next Chapter: The Happy Book
(Click on link on my sidebar- IE is trying, but not succceeding in giving me grief)
I am in a great group. We will be sharing this book. One person has a week with it and sends it on it's merry way to next person. Because there were so many of us that love being happy, we have four copies of this book travelling all across the globe. I am so excited to be a participant on this journey. I will definitely be learning patience. My turn with the book is not until November:)
However, I still get to see what is making my friends smile every week & share my own Happy thoughts. Here are a few of my happy's for this week:
A little bit of chocolate and a lot of conversation with my mom.
My husband's sense of humor.
Getting organized -I labeled 77 pairs of socks this week!
Report cards with straight A's
Homemade steak & potato soup
Flapping my arms & trying to fly on the Wii Fit
It definitely is not the same as when I fly in my dreams..lol
Twittering for charity
Hazelnut Cream coffee from @TheFineGrind
Prayer & Meditation it WORKS!
An invitation to dinner with old friends
Winning 50 boxes of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese and being able to share this with others.
Football weekends with family and Chips & Dean's Dip (Yummy)
T-rexie my prehistoric computer-she's old but she works!
My brother making Captain at the Fire department ( Big Sissy is so proud)
One World, One Heart Magic Carpet Ride Giveaways
I was a little bummed that I didn't have the foresight or finances to participate.
But there is always next year:)
Forgiveness
Gratitude
and
My cousin and his wife are due to arrive in town this morning. I have only seen him 3x in 25 years! I am sooo excited to be able to spend time with them over the weekend. Woot!
Next week I hope to be able to share pics or video.
I will use my son's computer and have him help me.
Until then...
What makes you HAPPY?